Navigating My Day Off

Days off are definitely rough seas these days.  I have to keep myself busy so I don’t have much solitary thinking time.  I decided to start my Monday off with a yoga class. I had actually started going to the same yoga class last time the boy and I broke up, and even though I’m terrible at it, I got to really enjoy it.  Then we got back together, and work got crazy and I stopped having Mondays off regularly, and I got out of the habit.  I’m trying to recommit myself to it, because it not only gives me something to do, but I’ve seen yoga do great things both physically and spiritually for people, and I could definitely use some of that right now.  It was apparently a Hatha flow style yoga class, and the emphasis on breathing and meditation gave me something to concentrate on.  I’m definitely not great at keeping my mind clear while meditating, but that will come with time and practice (as all things do).

It was a great way to start my morning, and I felt more centered than I’ve been in a while. When I got home, I actually cooked myself breakfast.  My eating habits have admittedly not been as regular as they should have been the past week.  Breakfast especially was hard to eat, because it’s a meal I have almost entirely associated with the boy – since I never really make breakfast food except with him.  I’m working on trying to reclaim all the thousands of small memories I have associated with him, bit by bit, so maybe it won’t be as hard to go through my day.

As mentioned in previous posts, I think one of the biggest keys to my healing will be doing things for others.   Concentrating on being good to other people will hopefully keep my mind and heart busy on other things, instead of focusing on how much I miss him. I did not get a chance to write cards on Sunday because I got from my friend’s too late, and I wasn’t really up for writing them yesterday.  Instead I decided to do something to acknowledge how much my friend & coworker Donnelle has done for me recently. I dropped by with pink roses (her favorite color), and left a note letting her know that without her support, strength and encouragement,  my life would be a lot more difficult.  I know she’s dealing with a lot of stress on her plate right now, both at work and in her personal life,  and I was hoping to brighten her day up a bit.  I find that having someone acknowledge your worth always makes dealing with various stresses and unhappiness easier.

I’m lucky to have her both at work and outside work.  She does a great job helping me to run the store, and I never have to worry about things when she’s there.  She helped pick up my slack at work on several occasions when I was distracted and not at my best.  She has also usually been one of the first people to know if/when things were wrong with the boy and I, and she gave me a lot of strength when I couldn’t find it on my own.  I’m blessed to have a lot of amazing, supportive and loving friends, and I need to do a better job at acknowledging that.  After all, “I get by with a little help from my friends.”